sunny throws tantrums.
not the screaming until i get my way tantrums, not the angry "i hate you mommy" tantrums (at least not yet), but the wailing yelling teary tantrums of absolute frustration and thwarted desire.
i really don't think he perceives that a tantrum will change his circumstances - he's just so bang full-up of emotion about something that he doesn't know how else to get it out. it happened a lot when sailor was born, tho he was a lot younger then. and it's happening a lot now. i wish i knew why, other than for developmental reasons. and i wish i knew what to do about them.
when we're at home, the solution's easy. i send him to his room (to his bed, really) until he's calmed down. it works really well for him, and he can even set his own time limits - he just gets out of bed and comes to find me when he's ready.
our issue seems to be public places. very public places, like the store, and semi-public places, like friends' houses and such. and poor little mommy is mortified by all of the stares (and, let's face it, glares) when her darling boy doesn't behave exactly how she'd like him to (which, honestly, would involve him wearing a suit and tie and addressing everyone as "ma'am" or "sir.":) and there's no room to send him to, and sometimes you simply can't just leave- like when you're running an errand on the way to a friend's house to pick up something for them- so you stand in the super-long check out line clutching your infant in one hand, your reluctant and shrilly wailing toddler in the other, and whatever you ran in for halfway falling down under your arm.
very awkward and embarrassing.
the funny thing is, in spite of the fact that i'm agonizing about these tantrums, most other people are not half as judgmental about them as i think they are. i guess because I am so judgmental about other people's parenting styles, i assume everyone else is running a nasty sarcastic critique of my parenting skills under their breaths.
but God bless the woman in HEB today who passed me by in the baby food aisle as sunny sat in the corner crying and screaming in my own little makeshift time-out. i said apologetically, "he's in time-out." she said, laughing, "look behind me. i've been there." and sure enough, trailing her were three teenage boys, looking rather sheepish. another mom told me as i stood in line, "it won't always be like this. don't worry."
and if you haven't caught on yet, my concern is not half so much for my wailing son as HOW IT MAKES ME LOOK AS A PARENT. this is a serious problem, people - a problem with my ego. remember the christmas book exchange blog? God is still dealing with me about this issue.
i sure hope i learn whatever it is i'm supposed to learn quickly, because this stage really sucks.
i also hope i can have the wisdom to handle my son and his extreme emotional distress with discernment, understanding, and firmness, with no regard for myself or how i am perceived. this is my earnest prayer.
and honestly, i think that if i knew how to do it, i would.