there are few things as disturbing to me as going in to nurse my children (specifically, my daughter) in the middle of the night and finding her burning to the touch. not just warm, or even hot, but so hot that it is uncomfortable to hold her close enough to nurse her. radiating heat. it made me cringe for her and also panic a bit. i mean, who likes to find out her child is running a super-high fever at two in the morning?
so i stripped her down to her diaper and ran a cool cloth along her back; i wrapped one around her hot little feet; i nursed her and rubbed her head and rocked her gently while she whimpered at me. i gave her tylenol (which takes forever to work; in this case literally forever, because it did nothing at all for her fever) and turned off the warm air humidifier and walked her around for a bit. and while she eventually fell back into a restless sleep, she continued to wake up every twenty minutes or so for the next four hours, crying her hoarse little cry and looking around for me. and my little girl, who would rather be crawling than be held, and will not let me snuggle her except for very first thing in the morning (and then for thirty seconds at best), just lay on my chest and breathed ragged congested little breaths all night. poor, sweet baby.
and after three hours of this continual waking (hers and mine, as i made my way across the dark house countless times back to her room), as i began to feel frustrated and even more exhausted, i remembered (somewhat inanely, i admit) the Little Critter book where he says, "my mom stays up withe me all night when i'm sick, even when she's tired." (this is my life, that i can quote children's picture books. sorry, shakespeare.) and i realized that love does bear all things, even night waking. so i kept watch over my baby with tenderness and empathy (and only the occasional reluctance). as my mother kept watch over me, and her "mama" over her....
rock-a-bye.
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