a night off

jon and i have been fighting some stupid intestinal bug all week now. we'll feel sick for a day or two, better for a day, and then miserable again. and yesterday on the way home from yet another graduation party, i started to feel pretty badly. so i crashed when we got home.
jon was due to go to another party by himself last night. "don't go," i said, half-serious.
"what if i take sunny?" he suggested.
"great. that'll give me an easier night."
there was a longish pause. "what if i take them both?"
i looked at him to see if he was kidding. "are you kidding?"
"no, seriously. then you could really rest."

so he did it. he carted both kids all the way out to a ranch past the airport (read 50 minute drive) where lots of people he didn't know (and some that he did) stood around listening to music and chatting to each other. apparently everyone did fine. the kids ran (and crawled) around in the grass under the trees, looked at the miniature donkeys and the tractors, and ate chicken nuggets.

and i had a night off.

it always feels strange to me to be in the house by myself these days. there's always SOMEONE there, even if he (or she) is fast asleep in another room. so for a little bit i just sat in the "house" (this is what sunny calls the family room) and ate probiotic yogurt and felt mildly crummy and enjoyed the silence (you can sing depeche mode along with me if you want).
then i read. for a long time. almost an hour, i think, before i got up and moved outside into the warm dusky air. i read in a chair on the patio until it got too dark to read, and then i came inside and read some more. i finished the last couple hundred pages of my book (this is not bragging; just stating a fact), and it was a luxury of time i have not had since.... well, i don't remember the last time i had two hours just to read.

i used to do it all the time. i used to sit out in the evenings and read when i was living at home in tucson; when i was in high school and college, i used to stay up very late/early and finish whatever it was i was absorbed in.

i felt very guilty about it last night. there were dishes in the sink, clothes in the dryer, and a film of hair on the living room floor. but all of those things can be taken care of when my family is home.
and how often do i get a night off?
:) don't answer that.