last night sailor was throwing a huge tantrum. for no particular reason, or maybe for several. and sunny was upset, too, so i was hovering between the both of them (jon was out for the night). sailor was lying on the living room floor, red faced and screaming, and i was in sunny's bedroom with him. suddenly the crying stopped. i stuck my head out of the door and there was sailor, still on the floor, LOOKING OVER HER SHOULDER AT ME. and as soon as she saw me, THE CRYING STARTED AGAIN.
ah, the manipulations of the very young.
so i pulled my head back in and waited until i heard the sounds of quiet play. she was happy the rest of the night.
i was telling leslie today that the toddler years seem to catch some parents a little by surprise. you have this adorable small baby you can tote around everywhere, who smiles and coos and sleeps enough during the day to let you take naps or clean house. and then, seemingly overnight, you have a whirlwind of a toddler. she takes all of your time and energy, doesn't want to sit still in a restaurant (or anywhere, for that matter), and needs constant attention and supervision. plus she says NO. a LOT. and hits and bites and kicks (sometimes you, and sometimes others). little wonder toddler parents seem a little frantic and bewildered.
it is hard and often tedious. sunny is slowly growing out of this stage while sailor is growing into it. and while it has it's own wonderful adorable crazy appeal, i don't love it. some days i don't even love the mothering job so much, and wish someone else would take the reins. just for a little while.
what i do love is my children. i love them in an out-of-control, over-the-top kind of way that sometimes makes me catch my breath in wonder.
karen's childhood friend, jamie, has 4 children - two girls, 5 and 7, and a set of 2-year-old twins. i asked her how she liked being a mother of four. "it's hard," she said honestly. "and the days with them are exhausting." she paused. "but when i think of doing anything else, or not being with them, it makes me sad. i wouldn't miss it."
i agree completely. sometimes i think i'd like to give up the hours of playing cars on the floor, or pushing swings in sweltering heat, or changing really really gross diapers. but that would mean giving up time with two of the most amazing and precious people in my life.
never. :)