it is well

i've been thinking a lot today about how blessed i am.

shannon gave me these dvds of the show "jon and kate plus 8." it's a show about this couple who had twins and then had sextuplets. they are an amazing christian couple, only a year younger than i am, and they really make this insane, improbable (and definitely unplanned, and initially unwanted) scenario work. they have schedules and routines like crazy, and lists and charts, and pour ALL of their time and energy into these eight children - in the episodes i'm watching, they are 6 years old (the twin girls) and 2 years old (the six others - 3 and 3).

it makes me feel weak and whiny for struggling with my two little ones. and disorganized and lazy, because sometimes i feel like this house and this job is beyond me. and things are not always clean, and there are no lists, and my animals shed all over the place, and my sofa has been ripped to pieces by our one cat with claws (ok, granted that last is not really my fault, but it does add to the overall feeling of deterioration on those difficult days :).

and besides all that, i have these friends at church (and elsewhere in my life) struggling with difficult things. one has discovered she can't add any more children to her family of one. one is young and sick and alone and without health insurance. one's husband had been seeing another woman secretly for a long time. and others are single and desperately want to be married, or jobless and desperately need to be employed...

and i have these two beautiful, incredible children, just two, not eight, whose faces light up when i walk into the room, and who voluntarily tell me (at least the oldest does), "mommy, i love you very much. i need a snuggle." and my heart just melts. they are healthy and (for the most part) happy.
i have a faithful husband i trust and love, and who trusts and loves me in return.
we have employment that brings us money we need, and some satisfaction in its accomplishment.
i have health care and car insurance and people to pick me up when i fall down.
i am so very, very blessed.
as my neighbor sabrina said (she was a missionary in turkey for a while), it all depends on where you're standing - which direction you're looking.
and so i won't look at my dirty house, or zero in on my faults and all of the many things i can find wrong with my life. i'll look at the blessings. at least for tonight, while i remember to.
(Lord help me remember to.)