pregnancy blues

gone are the days where i felt a keen drive to post every single day. if you look back to the beginning of my blog (almost a year ago, by the way), you'll see that i dilligently wrote intelligent, witty commentary EVERY SINGLE DAY. even if it meant staying up when i was murderously tired, even if it meant that i wouldn't get a nap, even if it meant that jon was standing next to me tapping his foot. i did that because i knew you all were reading, and i didn't want to disappoint you. :) and there is something intoxicating about writing for an audience, however small. and i loved it. :)
but i have to admit that there are times in my life....
like now...
when i don't feel witty or intelligent or even motivated.
i just feel...
tired.
sick and tired. not just run of the mill kind-of-sleepy, but the tired that comes from chasing a very active three year old all day, and keeping an extremely agile and determined one year old off the top of the kitchen table (i kid you not. i was cooking dinner two feet away with my back to her.) , and trying to do two other jobs outside of the home,

and being ten weeks pregnant.

does anyone else remember with me the bone-tiredness of the first trimester?
because apparently i had forgetten, when i thought of doing this all over again.

and never mind feeling sick. pretty much all of the time. which i never did with my other two. sick enough to want to lie on the sofa and let my babies watch blue's clues twice in a row, which is saying a LOT for this anti-TV woman.

don't get me wrong. i'm very excited about this pregnancy. we saw the tiny sonogram on friday, and it is an amazing THRILL to see that little one inside. sweet baby, i can't wait to meet you. just like the other two - you already have a special place in my heart.

i just wish i felt more like myself, and less like... a pregnant woman, i guess.



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i wrote this post on wednesday, and started crying so hard at the end i couldn't finish. :( did i mention that not only do i feel sick, but i'm a seething mass of hormones, as well?? plus i do have a lot on my plate.

but i feel more optimistic today (thursday). i figured out what seemed to be really really bad allergies the last couple of days was actually a cold - i was even running a bit of a fever yesterday when i wrote, so that may have contributed to the general self-pitying tone. :)

anyway, i wrote it because jess wrote and asked me for pregnancy updates. sorry, sweetie, there's not much exciting on this end... just a lot of sick and tired, generally. i'll let you know when things start looking up!