argument and affirmation

sunny and i have been butting heads so much these last couple of days. he's been very sick (with hand, foot, and mouth, it turns out, and not with strep) and run down, and that doesn't help.... but he's gone from daddy home and mimi and gramps around to having to share just mommy with at least one other person - and no entertainment or back-up. it seems that i'm a pretty poor substitute for all of the family and excitement of easter, sick or not. yesterday he had no nap in the afternoon because we took sailor to the doctor (for the second day in a row; there's a long story here which i won't tell now), so the entire afternoon and evening dissolved into one long battle full of over-emotional kiddo and grumpy, tired mom. i've felt somewhat disconnected from him, as well, since he's been spending so much time around other people. and today when i went to pick him up from school a little early, he looked at me and said, "no. go away. i want to play playdoh." this from the boy who usually shrieks with delight when i show up.

but tonight was different. jon was out, but we (s and s and i) had an early dinner and walked down to the close park. there's nothing much to do there, but sunny entertained himself by climbing on all of the rocks and jumping down, while sailor scooted around on the grass and practiced climbing in and out of her little red car (which was sunny's; her new favorite mode of transportation). then sunny went and got out the little golf ball he had found on our walk. "let's play golf," he suggested, and went and stood in the middle of the sand volleyball court. apparently "golf" involves throwing the ball back and forth to each other ("go and get it, mommy!") across the sand. this was a very fun game for everyone. "you like golf, mommy? you wearing you golf clothes?" (how he knows these things is beyond me. i wondered if i was supposed to be wearing plaid knee-highs and a polo shirt.)

and tonight, when jon got home at nine, and sunny jumped out of bed and ran to him hollering with glee, i smiled but felt a little sad. "are you glad to have daddy home?" i asked, as jon went into our bedroom to change clothes. "yes," he said. then he paused. "i glad to have you home too, mommy," he said. "i love you, mommy. you a great mommy." and i felt the weight of the last few days come falling away. i even got a little teary. who doesn't dream about looking into the deep blue eyes of their crazy, obstinate, emotional two-year-old son and receiving that ultimate affirmation. "i love you. you a great mommy."

i can only hope. ;)