back to school

or, in my case, back to work. it has been a long, long and busy week of inservice - we all four (me and the three little ones) had to go in every day this week. it's friday, and you can tell it has been a long haul - we are all tired, tempers are fraying around the edges, and it is getting harder and harder to get out the door on time. :)
today was open house, and to expedite getting out the door i sent sunny in to pick out his clothes and start the dressing process.
usually he does pretty well. today he chose a bright blue shirt and the slightly-too-small bright orange plaid shorts that i really should give away.
"um, honey," i said, trying to be very diplomatic, "those just don't match."
"why not?" he asked, somewhat defiantly.
"well, the blue and orange don't really go together."
"why not?"
"they just don't," i said firmly. "here are four other perfectly good pairs of shorts you could wear."
"no, i want these. i don't want to match."
"sunny," i said, "it's open house. you are going to meet new friends, see your teachers...."
"why do my shorts matter?" he asked.

and i paused, all of the honest answers i had at the tip of my tongue trickling away. i simply couldn't tell him, "because people will think you don't look nice," or "people will wonder why i let you out of the house like this."

because i worry about what other people will think far too much. and i really don't want to pass my insecurities on to my sweet sunshiney boy.

"you did a great job picking your clothes, sweetheart," i said. "let's go to open house."